


What's This Feeling?

by alex_is_away



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is hella sad, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Fluff, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-06 00:42:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16378160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alex_is_away/pseuds/alex_is_away
Summary: Cas doesn't know how to handle his feelings of depression. Sam talks Dean into talking to him about it.





	What's This Feeling?

It had been more or less a pretty calm night in the bunker. They hadn’t been on a hunt in a little over a week, and all three men were enjoying the break. Well, Cas wasn’t enjoying it as much as the two brothers, but he masked it well enough that the Winchesters didn’t take notice. Until tonight, that is. During dinner, Dean noticed that the fallen angel wasn’t as talkative as he usually was. Cas’ gravelly voice wasn’t spouting off things that he had learned from the internet, or raving about the latest show he was binging on Netflix. Sam, on the other hand, never noticed, but talked enough for the both of them. “So this new movie just came out on Netflix today.” The older hunter raised an eyebrow at his brother, signalling that he was interested and encouraging him to continue. “Okay, so get this. It’s called To The Bone and it’s about this girl with an eating disorder who-” Dean sat, pushing his food around on his plate as he listened to Sam go on about the plot of this movie. Dean looked over and made eye contact with Cas, cocking his head to the side, giving him a look that screamed ‘what’s wrong?’. The raven-haired man just shook his head and excused himself to retreat to his room, leaving the brothers to their conversation.

“Hey, bring me your laundry basket and I’ll wash your clothes. I don’t have enough to fill the washer.” Sam called after his older brother who was already leaving the kitchen towards his room. “Sure, okay. Be right back!” Dean threw back over his shoulder. As he made his way through the halls, he heard a noise coming from Castiel’s room. Curious, Dean stepped closer, putting his ear to the door, rather than knocking. The hunter’s eyes went wide when he heard muffled sobs, like someone crying into a pillow. This definitely wasn’t something that he was prepared for, and his mind went blank when he tried to think about what to do. Concerned, Dean quickly grabbed his laundry from his room and made his way back to Sam, almost tripping over himself in an attempt to remain quiet.

“Here. Better not mix ‘em up, Sammy.” Dean said, handing the basket to his brother. Sam gave him a confused look. “Dude, what’s up? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Which says a lot, because we see ghosts on a scarily regular basis.” Dean knew that Sam would see right through him if he lied, so he took a deep breath and motioned for the taller man to come closer, as if he were telling him a secret. “It’s Cas. He’s holed up in his room, crying. What should I do?” Dean whispered, knowing full well that the fallen angel was unable to hear him from his room. “I don’t know man, go comfort him?” Sam responded with the same apprehensive tone. “How would I even do that? You know I don’t do chick-flick moments.” Sam rolled his eyes at his brother, running a hand through his long hair. “Start with a hug, Dean. He’s still new to human contact, so this could be a nice learning experience for him.” The shorter hunter shot Sam a startled look. “Uhm- Start with what?!” Sam huffed at Dean’s reluctance. “Just go. Being alone isn’t going to help him right now, Dean. He needs someone to talk to, and if you still don’t think you can help after a while, then just text me and I’ll come and help you out. Deal?” Dean ran a hand through his short hair and sighed. “Yeah, deal.”

The hunter took a hesitant step towards Cas’ bedroom and lifted his hand to knock. “Don’t fuck this up.” He whispered to himself, knocking softly on the door in front of him. “Who’s there?” Cas asked, his voice so quiet on the other side that Dean almost didn’t hear it. “It’s uh- It’s just me Cas.” Dean felt just as small as the other man’s voice was, and at this point Dean was seriously considering feigning illness just to avoid talking about feelings. “Oh.” The voice from behind the door said, barely above a whisper and laced with sadness. “Is it alright if I come in?” Dean felt his voice waiver at the thought of the fallen angel crying. He was snapped from his train of thought when Cas spoke. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Dean slowly opened the door to a heartbreaking sight. The once very powerful angel, now powerless lies with a tear-stained face and puffy, red eyes, sniffling on his bed. “Woah, Cas. Are you okay?” Dean looked at the other man as if he was a scared animal, approaching the situation with caution. “I honestly don’t know, Dean. I don’t feel good, so I’m taking that as a sign that I’m not okay.” The hunter gave him a sympathetic look, testing the waters of Cas’ comfort zone as he sat on the bed by his legs. “Ya’ able to describe how you do feel?” Dean’s voice has shifted into a tone he doesn’t even recognize, like a parent talking to a hurt child. He hasn’t used that voice since Sammy was little. “I don’t-” Cas draws in a shaky breath. “It’s like I can laugh all day long, but at the end of the day I’m not even sure I know how to feel anymore. Sometimes I think that I can still fly, but I remember that my wings are gone and it’s just- It’s like I can’t control how I feel, and that scares me, Dean.” By the time the fallen angel is finished explaining his feelings, he has started crying again, hugging his knees to his chest.

Dean is speechless. How did he not notice that his best friend was hurting so much? “Cas, come ‘ere. Sammy said that this would make you feel better.” Dean said, opening his arms invitingly. Castiel felt his body moving into Dean’s embrace before he even realized it, like his body craved the contact. His loud sobs seeped out into the hallway, just loud enough that Sam could probably hear them from his room. The shorter man rested his head against Dean’s chest, curling his legs into his chest again, and wrapped his arms around the hunter’s torso. “Hey, do you hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that, okay?” Dean whispered while his brain frantically searched for a way to calm the sobbing man in his arms, settling slightly when he felt Cas nod at his request. 

The two sat in silence for several minutes as Cas’ sobbing slowed to occasional hiccups and Dean discovered that drawing shapes on Cas’ back comforted him the most. The hunter leaned his head down to look at the fallen angel. “Hey, you feelin’ any better?” Dean asked, and Castiel removed himself from Dean, wiping his eyes. “Yes, much. Thank you, Dean. Sorry about your shirt.” Cas gestured at Dean’s now tear-stained shirt. “That’s alright Cas, it’ll wash. Sit tight for a minute, I have a surprise for you.” Cas nodded in acknowledgement as Dean stood up and walked to the door, pausing to look back and shoot Cas a heartwarming smile before continuing on his journey. When Dean reached the end of the hallway, he pulled out his phone to send Sam a text. ‘Meet me in the kitchen.’ He hit send and made his way to the bunker’s kitchen.

After about a minute of waiting, Sam walked into the kitchen, curiosity etched onto his features. “I’m going to assume that by the look on your face, everything went okay with Cas.” Dean nodded, a content smile plastered on his face. “Yeah, he’s really torn up about his powers. It sounds like depression to me. I thought you could talk with him about that whole thing, because I’m surprised I got through all the tears.” Sam nodded in agreement. “Okay, so now what are you going to do?” A bigger smile crept up on Dean’s face. “Well, whenever you were sad as a kid I used to give you hot chocolate and a piece of-” “-cherry pie. Yeah I remember. It could’ve been something as small as a bad test grade, and you would be there with pie.” Dean shrugged. “What can I say? Pie solves all problems.” The taller man rolled his eyes and moved to the fridge, taking out the milk. “You know, I’m really proud of you, Dean.” The older hunter shot Sam an annoyed glare. “Don’t start with the whole ‘talking about feelings is good’ crap, Sammy.” Sam put his hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright. Now come on, I believe you said something about pie.” Sam said, his voice laced with excitement.


End file.
